Inherited Stories: Examining the Beliefs We Never Chose

We are all born into a world of stories. Before we can even speak, we are absorbing the narratives of our family, our culture, and our society. These stories are the air we breathe, the water we swim in. They shape our understanding of the world, our place in it, and who we are. These are the inherited stories—the beliefs, values, and expectations that are passed down to us without our consent.

From our families, we inherit beliefs about love, success, and failure. We learn what it means to be a "good" son or daughter, a "successful" person, a "responsible" adult. These beliefs are often unspoken, communicated through subtle cues, and reinforced through generations. We may carry our grandparents' fears about financial security, our parents' anxieties about social status, or their dreams for a life they never had. These inherited stories can become so deeply ingrained in us that we mistake them for our own.

Beyond our families, we are shaped by the larger narratives of our culture and society. We are taught what it means to be a man or a woman, what it means to be beautiful, what it means to be successful. We are bombarded with messages from the media, from our education system, and from our political leaders about who we should be and how we should live. These cultural narratives can be so pervasive that we don't even recognize them as stories. We accept them as "the way things are."

The problem with these inherited stories is not that they are inherently bad, but that they are not our own. They are scripts that have been written for us, and we are often expected to follow them without question. When we live our lives according to these scripts, we can feel a sense of unease, a feeling that we are not living our own life. We may find ourselves pursuing goals that don't truly excite us, living in ways that don't feel authentic, and feeling a sense of emptiness despite our "success."

The first step in breaking free from these inherited stories is to become aware of them. This requires a process of self-examination and critical thinking. We must be willing to question the beliefs we have always taken for granted. We must ask ourselves: "Where did this belief come from? Does it still serve me? Is it truly mine?"

This process can be unsettling. It can feel like we are questioning the very foundations of our identity. We may feel a sense of loyalty to our families and our cultures, and a fear of betraying them by choosing a different path. But the goal is not to reject our heritage, but to consciously choose which parts of it we want to carry with us.

By examining our inherited stories, we can begin to separate the beliefs that empower us from those that limit us. We can choose to let go of the stories that no longer serve us and to write new ones that are more in alignment with our authentic selves. This is the work of self-creation, of becoming the author of our own lives. It is a journey of reclaiming our identity and our power to choose who we want to be.